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| Warning: This is not a sensitive post. It's not too bad, but just thought I'd warn you. Proceed with caution and at your own mental risk.
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So, I'm stuck on a song....and I have it on repeat...and I haven't been able to change it. It's from Usher's "Here I Stand" album. The song is called "Will Work for Love". The lyrics and song are here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7ySVtN9c_c Listen to it... ...because personally, I often miss those signs. I miss the hurting people who would benefit from just a smile. Everyone wants to love and to be loved.... Will I see their signs? _____________________________________________
I posted that on Facebook a little while ago and the only reason I'm double posting it is because of what happened as I was looking for a picture of the post. I got on Google images and typed out a search for "painful eyes". My SafeSearch is not on, and there was one picture that stood out to me.
It was on the left side of the page, a simple thumbnail picture of a girl looking up into a camera as she was sucking some guy's dick. And her eyes were filled with pain. Now, that was the point of the picture, to show the pain in her eyes, but it got me thinking. How many prostitutes work for love all the time?
I once heard an example of how twisted the world has become. The man said that the world is so bad, that he heard a story of prostitutes who were saving their "kiss". That meant that these young women were willing to have anything done to their bodies, except a kiss on the lips.
He was astonished, but that example never sat well with me. Now, I think it is amazing in a good way that I woman can still hold on to a hope of something remaining sacred, that she can be getting pounded in the mouth or in the pussy and still have a hope that one day she will be able to do something out of love. That, to me, is awesome. I don't know what got them into that work, but to have a hope of escape is great.
(Side Note: to all those who have nothing physically left to give that someone hasn't already taken, don't feel bad. The person who is meant for you will love you regardless. And, under the covering of marriage, their touch will slowly help to wash away all the pain of the past. You may still remember, but a loving touch will pull away the sting of that memory. Trust me, I know. Hang in there.)
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The Truth:
I was introduced to porn at eight years old and have struggled with it ever since. I saw the picture without flinching about how vulgar it was, but her eyes did stop me. Then, I realized, their eyes have always stopped me. When I saw someone in pain in the past, there was no enjoyment for me. I would stop watching any video that had pain in the girl's eyes. It was subconscious, but it was there.
So, yeah. You probably now know more about me than you were expecting to get reading this post. I'm okay with that if you are. If you have any questions, I will answer them. Hopefully through examining my mistakes, I can stop others...
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| Jake Hoyt: You know, I already figured 'em (the streets) out. Alonzo Davis: Really? Roger: You are figured the streets out. Jake Hoyt: It's all about smiles and cries. Roger: Hold on, hold on. Smiles and cries. Smiles and cries. I hear ya. Jake Hoyt: Yeah. You gotta control your smiles and cries, because that's all you have and nobody can take that away from you. -"Training Day" (2001)
I would never suggest that anyone watch Training Day, just like I wouldn't suggest American Beauty or Swordfish. But, for me, it is the moments of light in the midst of the filth that truly make these movies worthwhile.
And through all the cussing, nudity, and violence, one principle made its way into my heart: "It's all about smiles and cries." That's it. Joy and sorrow, healing and pain, victory and defeat, peace or distress. And it's a battle between God and Satan as to who will win each minute of every day.
So, stay strong my friends....and don't be like me....
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| Emancipate yourself from mental slavery; none but ourselves can free our minds.
-Bob Marley
This quote truly had me dumbfounded. To be honest, I understood it, but yet I didn't, if that makes any sense. I know that we ultimately must be the ones to free our minds, but are we really in slavery if we can be free at any time? Then a good friend of mine said, "Sometimes we are enslaved in the dark. The light must come on before we realize that we are trapped." That's it!!! Why do people stay wrapped up in mindsets that are only harmful to themselves? Why do they keep travelling down a road towards destruction? Why do they never realize they need to change? It starts off because no one tells them...and maybe, they are not at fault. (or are they? comment on that....) It's only after they hear or see the consequences of their actions that they are willingly remaining chained to the mindset they are in. And then, it's not slavery...it's a choice. So, maybe Marley is saying that you must put yourself in the best position to see the light...for only then can you see what enslaves you, and you are now ready to become free. Random thoughtz...I've been looking at quotes again..can you tell?  | | |
| "It's still beautiful, even in the dark."
-a young woman who doesn't know how beautiful she really is...
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| "The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life."
-Anne Morriss, Starbucks customer from New York City.
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